I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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