But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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