if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
