I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
