Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
