Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
