I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
