1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
