It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
