I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
