Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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