Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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