tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
