Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
