I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
