Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
