Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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