We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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