Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
as a side note pls kill me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
