This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
