Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
