Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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