went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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