the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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