I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just threw up on my dentist
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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