If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
