well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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