need another drink. this is the easiest way
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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