I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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