bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
my poor anus
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
