it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is Oprah even human
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
