Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
