so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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