i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
