you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
