make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
