mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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