and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
