the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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