Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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