I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
