Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is my gift to your gina
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
