I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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