He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
