He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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