I wanna bring you to show and tell
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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