Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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