Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
