somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
