meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
