After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
