He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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