so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
