is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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