i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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