i need an iv and a liver transplant
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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